


Goose, Dolphin, Apple Pie and Snek

by 5ofSpades



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bread, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mile High Club, apple pie of eden, cobra chickens, danger noodle, imagine dolphins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-06-26 05:23:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19761463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ofSpades/pseuds/5ofSpades
Summary: Local snek and local friendly bookseller appear in non-sequential comics(?)





	1. not annunciation

Local Snek cosplays delivery stork with mixed success.  


Local Snek supporting local artists.  
Local Bookseller not sharing the last grape.  


Local Bookseller thinks snake skin slippers are not completely comfortable.  
Local Snek knows snake skin slippers are not completely comfortable.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5ovspades @ tumblr  
> 5oSwords @ pixiv  
> each as disorganized as the other


	2. the pastry won

Who will you kiss?   
Me, or that pastry over there?  
—  
the pastry won, obviously.

Local Snek turns up the charm on Local Bookseller only to lose to pastry, so sad much private tears.  


Local Snek and Local Bookseller contemplates dolphins before the end of the world.  
Local dolphins were probably preparing notes of gratitude regarding all the fish.  



	3. a vision, not sure of what, but definitely a vision

Local Snek and Local Circular Thingy with way too many eyes join the mile-high club, sort of.  
Local Men are confused and alarmed.  



	4. the fall of Adam and Eve + expulsion from paradise

Local Snek gets scritches.  
Local Employee gives away important company equipment without authorization or paperwork.  
\+ tartan is stylish  



	5. apple pie and temptation

Some Above and Below thought the treacherous Serpent of Eden might have swiped an apple for himself and tempted the insubordinate Angel of the Eastern Gate to sin with it. What else could possibly explain their deviancy? Their attempts at that horrifyingly uncertain thing called free-will?  


Crowley never swiped any fruits from the garden at all. He was a snake. He had no pockets. He did once share a piece of very delicious but also very ordinary human-made pie with the angel though.  
  
The glisten of golden honey on his lips, biting into the pie he had already tasted in an indirect kiss. Great temptation into danger and greater motivation to share all of his desserts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References: various Mycenaean & Minoan frescoes


	6. honk honk m***********s

Well-traveled Snek under assault by cobra chickens seeks comfort from friendly book seller.  
Children on school trip feed cracked corn to geese.  


1\. Bread is not the best thing to feed wild birds with.  
2\. Canada Geese. They will chase you down from across the road. They will chase you down from across the lake. They will chase you down as you flee upon a bicycle. They will sit on your car and poop on your lawn. Even a wily agent of Hell such as Crowley is no match for them. But I love them anyway, to see them live so vibrantly every year when the seasons turn around.


	7. and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven

Local Snek and Travel Companion picking up hitchhiking single mother and child en-route to Sinai Peninsula vacation.

“Why you old Snake, always knew you have a soft spot for the young ones.  
Oh poor dear girl, please ignore my associate traveler’s hissing. So very rude. And no, no it wouldn’t be a bother at all. We are headed in the same direction, and as they say, the more the merrier.”  


The boy and his mother settled in their new home quite nicely. The boy grew up, married a local girl and everything. He told the tale of the two nice men who shared water with him and protected him and his mother to all of the wedding guests, then later to his children, his grandchildren.

The two nice man-shaped beings didn't know any of this of course. They went on a bender across all the seaside towns and overindulged on seafood of all kinds. One of them particularly enjoyed lazying on the sun-warmed beaches.


	8. gluttony and covetousness

Local Snek tempts Local BBQ Connoisseur to (more) midday debauchery.

(Aziraphale attempted to cut some of the meat himself and ended with an injured finger for his troubles. Crowley knew there was a reason why he usually left all the chopping and grilling and brewing to humans, the poor short-lived clever buggers.)  


reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Alma-Tadema


End file.
